When Signe and I returned to the house, Leif had gone, and we could mercifully have a peaceful breakfast. Only the occasional sniffle from Signe or giggle from Astrid interrupted the quiet.
Bjorn and I went out to check the fields after our meal. It had rained twice since we planted, but we needed to make sure the soil was moist enough for the seeds to germinate and sprout. We focused on the work for a while, no mention of the earlier events, and while the underlying tension was still there, the shallow simplicity of the task was comfortable.
When we finished with the oats, we ended up on Bjorn’s little outcropping of rocks. Bjorn sat with one knee up, the other dangling off the rock. His golden blonde hair was neatly braided on the top today, beard a little wilder than I was used to. Even though his posture said ‘relaxed’, his energy didn’t match it. I could practically hear his thoughts. The desire to bring up what had happened earlier with Leif was thick in the surrounding air. And yet he hesitated.
“Go ahead,” I invited.
Bjorn sighed. “What you said to Leif, about not being able to have children or settle a home… did you mean that?”
I nodded. “I can’t have children. I have no place being any man’s wife, and I honestly don’t believe I was built for it. I’m too restless… this is a wonderful home, but I can’t see myself staying here for the rest of my life. And I should, I know I should. This should be everything I want out of life, but it’s just not.”
“What do you want from life?” Bjorn’s deep voice was smooth, untroubled. Merely curious.
“I was born to fight, Bjorn. It’s what I am good at, it’s when I feel most alive. A home already built, a farmstead already settled? That holds no adventure for me. Where I come from,” a lump formed in my throat, and I swallowed it down, “Where I came from my sacred duty was to protect my friends and family, my people, my home. I dedicated my life to it. And then my home was destroyed, my people slaughtered, and those of us who were spared forced to serve… the chieftain. He didn’t risk letting us fight, in case we turned against him. So he forced us to serve him in different ways. Not like that,” I rushed to add, as he straightened with fury at the implication, “but not what I was born to do. And so I escaped, and I’ve hidden here, pretending to be a farmer. But it’s not who I am.”
Bjorn was silent for several moments, considering my words. His deep ocean blue eyes were heavy, his expression serious, when he finally spoke.
“I always imagined myself marrying, fathering children, and raising them on a farm much like this one. I thought I’d find the right woman and make a home, heading out in the summer to make my name and returning to her in the fall.
“It didn’t happen how I imagined. I never found a girl I wanted to marry when I thought I should, and the challenges to making a name for myself have been many.
“Then my parents died, and suddenly I had a home, and a family, and all the pressure without the partner I’d imagined. Signe became a mother to her little sisters, and I leaned on her heavily to manage the household. I did not know how to do it—I confess I never paid attention to the work my mother did. I just assumed I’d have a wife to do those things. Fortunately I had Signe, or everything would have completely fallen apart.
“Having you here, even before I truly knew or trusted you, was a relief I didn’t expect. To know there was a fully grown woman to manage things, ease the burden on my little sister who shouldn’t have had to be so responsible at such an age, help with all of this,” he gestured to the fields behind us, “it has taken so much weight off of my shoulders. I know it is not where you want to be, and I understand now that you don’t want to stay, but I’m grateful you’re here now. I can never thank you enough for fixing Signe’s ankle, and the changes your presence has made for all three of them. I hope you understand how much you’ve done for all of us. For me. And whether it’s something you want, we consider you family.”
The stinging sensation of tears bit at the back of my eyes as I blushed under the weight of his gratitude. I’d turned up here just hoping to work and secure a bed to sleep in and food to keep me alive. Affecting this kind of change in someone else’s life was not my specialty, nor my intent.
And yet, the change the four of them had wrought on me was intense. I’d never imagined myself caring for children, and yet that’s exactly what I’d done since I came here. Sure, Signe managed a lot of the more motherly duties like bathing Astrid and mending clothes—she was far more maternal than I could ever be.
But hadn’t I comforted her in the wake of her first heartbreak? Hadn’t I made silly faces to drag a begrudging smile from Yrsa? Or sung little songs for Astrid so she could dance around the longhouse giggling?
The realization that, despite never wanting a family, I’d somehow adopted one, flooded my chest with emotion.
“Bjorn, I… thank you for welcoming me into your home. Into your family. I…” words were really difficult at this moment, but Bjorn seemed to understand.
He wrapped a massive arm around my shoulder, pulling me into the warmth of his body, and said, “I don’t know where your path leads you, Brenna, but you’re welcome to stay with us as long as you like. Anything I can do for you, you are welcome to it.”
The offer was endearing, but the idea brewing in my mind was certainly outside of what he imagined. I needed to bide my time a bit longer, prove that Signe could manage on her own, before I put my plan into action.
Bjorn and I sat restfully, comfortably, on his rock, both entertaining our own visions of what the future held.
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